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This week hasn't been a great one. I had my first really bad… - Incest Survivors' Support

Apr. 4th, 2007

02:12 pm

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This week hasn't been a great one. I had my first really bad flashback in about five years on Sunday evening.

I'm not even really sure why. I just kept getting more and more uncomfortable trying to have sex with my boyfriend and feeling more and more disgusted by absolutely nothing specific but rather everything at once until I just told him I had to stop. It's funny, my regular memory flashbacks don't bother me as much anymore, I've sort of learned to ignore them when they try to pop up, but such a strange emotional physical flashback is relatively new for me. Or so old that I forgot what it was like to have.

I've never had one before with Eric, not in all our four years. I think he's sort of avoiding me sexually for the moment because of it, I don't blame him.

Comments:

[User Picture]
From:igosm
Date:April 4th, 2007 07:47 pm (UTC)

Flash backs can be awful...

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I hope you don't let it bug you too much. Just take note of it and try to move on. You might want to look at what the trigger was, what came right before, sometimes that's helpful. I'll be praying for you.

M
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[User Picture]
From:fred_girl
Date:April 5th, 2007 03:51 pm (UTC)

Re: Flash backs can be awful...

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I've been trying to figure out what specifically happened before but I can't think of anything that it could be, thanks for the good thoughts though . .
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[User Picture]
From:igosm
Date:April 5th, 2007 04:54 pm (UTC)

Re: Flash backs can be awful...

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It might take a while. Sometimes a flash back is just about remembering so you can take steps to process it (from an adult perspective) It's such an incredible thing to go through. I'm in a group and we use the Wounded Heart book. It's pretty Christian which is bristling for me, But there is wisdom there. I find the book is good at pointing out what the effects might be and not so good in suggesting positive actions to take, outside of forgiveness and prayer, which seems a little lacking to me. Have you tried a group, have you read any books which seem helpful? I'm struggling with Compulsive Overeating at the same time. I'm noticing that eating disorders and Childhood abuse go hand in glove.
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From:fred_girl
Date:April 5th, 2007 05:15 pm (UTC)

Re: Flash backs can be awful...

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When I first started dating and being sexually involved, I dealt with a lot of flashbacks and pretty much sorted out what I could and could not do. But it's been years since then which is what's confusing me.
I've actually been meaning to look into a group. How did you find yours?
And yes, over and under eating seem highly intertwined with childhood abuse. Have you ever been to an OA meeting? It's the same format as an AA meeting, but it's specifically for overeaters. My aunt participates and it's been amazing for her.
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From:igosm
Date:April 5th, 2007 06:04 pm (UTC)

Re: Flash backs can be awful...

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I go to OA meetings. Actually I think it would be good if there was a subset of OA for OA - Childhood sexual abuse.. It might be the same people, it's so prevelent...
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From:fred_girl
Date:April 5th, 2007 09:40 pm (UTC)

Re: Flash backs can be awful...

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I wish there was a victims of sexual abuse anonymous period! Anyway, can you suggest a good way to find a support group?
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