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Incest Survivors' Support

Nov. 16th, 2008

06:05 am - new.

 Hi everyone!
I had a livejournal years ago but am happy to be back, determined to find support on my path to recovery, and help others struggling with the same diseases/addictions/traumas. I will post tonight on my page a summary of my first step so those of you who want to can get to know me a little better. Thank you all for being here and looking forward to sharing my experiences, struggles, strengths, and hopes.

Jan. 15th, 2008

10:22 pm - Writing Anthologies

A little while ago I asked for suggestions on writing anthologies by sexual abuse survivors - I got one or two suggestions from you guys, but I thought I'd post what I found elsewhere in case people were interested:

Bass, E. & Thornton, L. Ed. (1991). I Never Told Anyone: Writing by women survivors of child
sexual abuse. New York: Harper Perennial.

Claman, E. Ed. (1995). Writing Our Way Out of the Dark: An anthology by child abuse
survivors. Eugene, Oregon: Queen of Swords Press.

Jones, B.M., Jenstrom, L.L., & MacFarlane, K. Eds. (1980). Sexual Abuse of Children: Selected

King, N. Ed. (1995). Speaking Our Truth: Voices of courage and healing for male survivors of
childhood sexual abuse. New York: Harper Perennial.

Kuhn, J.A. Ed. (2000). In Cabin Six: An anthology of poetry by male survivors of sexual abuse.
Big Bear City, CA: Impact Publishing.

Pierce-Baker, C. Ed. (1998). Surviving the Silence: Black women’s stories of rape. New York:
W.W. Norton & Company.

Queer Press Collective, Ed. (1991). Loving in Fear: An anthology of lesbian and gay survivors of
childhood sexual abuse. Toronto, Canada: Queer Press Non-Profit Community
Publishing of Toronto.

Shaw, R. Ed. (2000). Not Child’s Play: An anthology on brother-sister incest.
Takoma Park, Maryland: Lunchbox Press, Inc.

Safe helpful reading to you all,

Current Mood: thirstythirsty

Jan. 7th, 2008

10:53 am - alone...

I know I'm not, but I feel very alone... isolated.. cut off... maybe I didn't take my meds this morning? I can't remember... regardless, I feel like I'm struggling just to stay "attached" to this world... I want to just go outside and wander the streets aimlessly.. I have no direction... no destination.. my only purpose is to protect my daughter and I'm failing at that miserably

Dec. 9th, 2007

12:35 pm

I'm looking for collections of writing by survivors of sexual abuse - can anybody suggest some?

Nov. 10th, 2007

08:06 pm - Seeking a quote - Your assistance is requested

I've created another LJ account that will be used for family.. maybe. That's the idea, anyway. So I'm planning everything very carefully... what to put as Interests, what name I use, and what to put in the bio. I would like to put a quote (or maybe more) in the bio that is similar to the one below. I would very much like it to allude to being a survivor, if not obviously, then at least between the lines, if that makes sense?

I have considered creating an LJ Community for the members of my family, which will (possibly, hopefully) satisfy those of the family that want "togetherness" while giving me the distance that I really want. My parents will be there, as well as my siblings, which includes one of my abusers. So.. this is a dicey and important thing.

If anyone knows of anything, please let me know.. and if you're not quite sure what I'm looking for, I'll try and explain myself more fully.

Why is it we want so badly to memorialize ourselves? Even while we're still alive. We wish to assert our existence, like dogs peeing on fire hydrants. We put on display our framed photographs, our parchment diplomas, our silver-plated cups; we monogram our linen, we carve our names on trees, we scrawl them on washroom walls. It's all the same impulse. What do we hope from it? Applause, envy, respect? Or simply, attention, of any kind we can get?

At the very least we want a witness. We can't stand the idea of our voices falling silent finally, like a radio running down.

- Margaret Atwood

x-posted to _survivors_

Current Mood: hopefulhopeful

Oct. 18th, 2007

01:28 pm - Confrontation Experiences?

 Hi ... I'm a female adult survivor of childhood incest; my abuser was my sister.  I've written a letter of confrontation, but I haven't gotten up the nerve to send it. 

Read more...Collapse )

... I'd like to hear from other people about how and if they've confronted their abusers, and what they got out of it (if they confronted), or why they chose not to (if they haven't) ... I'd like to know whether you chose to confront face to face or by letter, and what influenced you in your choice ... I'd also love to hear how other people in your family reacted (if they know) and who have been your biggest supporters (if anyone) ... 

As much as I want to send the letter, I'm afraid I'll incite more emotional abuse than she is already capable of ... and I admit to everyone here that (even tho I claim not to be afraid of her), I part of me still is ... *sigh*

Thanks (in advance) for your input and your support ...

Current Mood: depresseddepressed

Aug. 27th, 2007

03:18 pm

No one has posted to this community in awhile. I hope it's still active.

I was sexually abused by an uncle for years. I blocked out all memories until I was 22. I do not know how young I was when it started. I have had flashbacks where I was three, but I suspect I was younger. At present I am working Survivors of Incest Anonymous' 12 Step program. Recovery is difficult and painful, but I can no longer live with the horrible aftereffects of incest.

Apr. 21st, 2007

04:52 pm - My introduction

I am a 46 year old peri-menapausal woman who's working through childhood sexual abuse issues..  

I was forced to felacio my brother, he got on top of me once to find out where the 'hole' was,  he examined me.  Luckily he didn't break anything.  My mother and father were in the thoughs of my father being sick and dying but even before that we were benignly neglected.  One time mother and father went to hospital and they forgot to feed me.  I wasn't allowed to use the stove and had no idea what to do.. 

My brother in law taught me the campbells soup thing.  He was evil to his own kids and nice to me.  Unfair.  I can't hate him properly for what he did to his daughter and son.  

I grew up in an upper middle class home, after father died of cancer in 1970 when I was 10 mother tried to be a full time alcoholic but she got talked out of it by my abuser.  Would someone please be consistant for a few years???? 

Now I am an adult and like many folks with similar histories, I am morbidly obese.  I feel like I have to work through my issues before I can possibly succeed at weight loss.  Not that I am not trying at least a little.  I'm so confused becaue I am on opposing diets.  I am trying to eat low oxidate and still loose weight and I am sure it is psosible but there is so much I don't know about what I can and cannot have.   I ignore the bit about not eating lettuce.  There's not enough of anything there to count...

By the way I have a better than you'd expect relationship with my abuser brother, he is the most loyal family member I have, I may be his most loyal family member for him too.  I have to maintain the relationship in order to ensure he is never left with young children alone.  It's my life's work.  I don't think he is completely better by no means.  he feels bad.  He's appologized.  He's given me money and shelter when I needed it.  I think of it as being a bit greedy but in a way allowing him to get even with me.  Does that make sense?  

this blog username is anonymous.  I go by M on here.  This way I can be completely absolutely honest.  You see? 

Current Location: Home
Current Mood: okayokay
Current Music: Fan whirr

Apr. 4th, 2007

02:12 pm

This week hasn't been a great one. I had my first really bad flashback in about five years on Sunday evening.

I'm not even really sure why. I just kept getting more and more uncomfortable trying to have sex with my boyfriend and feeling more and more disgusted by absolutely nothing specific but rather everything at once until I just told him I had to stop. It's funny, my regular memory flashbacks don't bother me as much anymore, I've sort of learned to ignore them when they try to pop up, but such a strange emotional physical flashback is relatively new for me. Or so old that I forgot what it was like to have.

I've never had one before with Eric, not in all our four years. I think he's sort of avoiding me sexually for the moment because of it, I don't blame him.

Dec. 5th, 2006

09:22 pm - Interesting Book . . .

Hey all - this is an interesting book I've just read for a paper in school. It's based off of critical psychology which can be a little difficult to stomach, but is really interesting and vital.
Some of the articles are necessarily a little antagonistic/devil's advocate, but there's lots of good information.

New Feminist Stories of Child Sexual Abuse: Sexual Scripts and Dangerous Dialogues Edited by Paula Reavey and Sam Warner.

ps. Try to borrow it from a library, it's ridiculously expensive to buy

love to all,

Current Mood: busybusy
Current Music: "Nuages" by the Susan Arioli Band

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